Creative Writing - 21.02.2021

I have been doing some story planning this weekend so haven't done as much writing as I would have liked. Plus the weather has been lovely so I've gone out walking in the area where I live to clear my head of all its stuff.  The evening was peaceful with the half moon up in the sky.  The shops I walked past were open with people going about their daily lives and seeing that made me believe that life was slowly returning to normal.

I have bought some new writing aids so I am having a read through them to see if I can improve my writing style.  I have done a couple of exercises out of the book I am currently using.  I have added one of them below.  I hope you enjoy reading.

Chapter 47 - Fiction: Something happened on the way to... 

The train passes station after station, racing by the rail depot where other trains are waiting for their own departures.  Liam is hopeful as he whistles a little tune to himself while swinging his converse-clad foot in time, watching as trees and buildings continue to flash by.  He is happy; happy to be finally returning to work after months of uncertainty, back to the little coffee shop he loved so much, to see his work colleagues who had stayed and hadn’t left to seek more secure roles during the pandemic.  In particular, he is anxious to see Thea, in the flesh.  He loved Thea and today, if everything went the way it was meant to, was going to be the day he had something important to tell her which he had not been comfortable revealing over their monthly Zoom calls.  He wanted to hold up her delicate hands to his jaw, kiss them gently and tell her he loved her, always had done from the first time they met in December 2019.  He could imagine her blushing and how she would laugh shrilly, avoiding his eyes, probably start to stammer, unable to form her response.  He would put his finger to his lips before pulling her towards him into a hug.  Thinking about it brought a warmness to his chest like he had tipped a strong espresso down his throat.  He turned his head to look at the few other passengers on the train.  The man dressed in the suit, obviously going back to the office after months working from home.  The suit straining against the extra pounds he had gained from too many Deliveroo meals and too little activity.  Then there was the woman in front of Liam that was reading a book, which she kept putting down on her lap every so often to fan her face with her hands. 

     ‘Do you want me to open the window?’ Liam asked as he stood up to pull the handle, letting in fresh air.  She thanked him with a small stiff smile as she continued to fan her face.  He watched her for a second more, before diverting his attention back to looking out the window, thinking about Thea. 

Their last zoom call was funny.  Thea said she hadn’t been out of the flat all day and she laughed and asked him whether he minded she was still dressed in her flamingo patterned pyjamas as it made her look slovenly.  He said he didn’t mind.  They talked about films they had watched recently on Netflix.  He told her about his mum’s new lockdown boyfriend she had found online and how they had had their first virtual date which was a success.  He noted that Thea loved that story. 

A choking noise drew him back to the woman sitting opposite him with her hand now on her chest, leaning forward trying to catch her breath.  The man in the suit turned around at the noise but did not move from his seat.  Liam is at a lost what to do, when her head slumps forward and there is no further sound or movement.  He becomes alarmed, as he leapt forward and tries to shake her as the train slowly pulls into London Bridge station.  Soon other passengers come to the unconscious woman’s aid as Liam exits the train to look for a guard.  Realising his perfect plan for seeing Thea must be put, momentarily, on hold.